Reflections On Life As Consultant

It’s been a very interesting fortnight.

At times I’ve really felt like meat in a sandwich, squashed between things threatening to be consumed. As a project consultant to a number of Australian Flexible Learning Elearning Innovations projects after this Friday and in between negotiations for a number of other private and enterprie RTO projects spread from Caringbah to Coonamble I’ve learnt that life as consultant can be both exciting and rewarding.

Travel is having it’s toll. My persistent cough is back as is my sore back from travelling in my utility for hours on end. My throat is sore from talking. ….and yet there’s a certain joy about having time with my son to play with him and watch the snow fall and still not enough time to get into the studio and create some art work.

That part is a discipline related issue and one I’m gradually getting my head around.

I’ve also learned that as a consultant you can expect;

• the unexpected
• to need a home office….it’s almost impossible to operate as an e-learning consultant without a reliable table, internet connection and some decent strong coffee
• your an outsider to insider negotiations
• not to be paid for at least two-three hours of emails per day
• the bigger the organisation the bigger the expectation to be patient especially with payments for service….it’s a short term contract….little regularity….lots of paperwork
• many phone calls or none at all dependent on who’s where and how close you are to the source of project management
• odd working hours
• constant anxiety
• strange requests from people expecting everything for nothing
• time to yourself which is generally consumed with thinking about prospects
• more time management skill development than ever before
• hefty PI and PL cover upwards of $1400 AUD per annum.
• a massive fuel bill
• increased interest from the tax office
• decreased interest from the bank

Overall it’s a very challenging time and now that I’m confident I can last out till spring I might get a chance to interview for some full-time work which I can get paid to forget the above….for a while…..till that becomes debilitating and humiliating and so on.

More meat in the sandwich me thinks. Plenty of time to reflect and create and build things which matter most.

Open wide spaces.

Usefulness & Value

I often preface my posts with an image which I garnish from the undending array of 2.5 CC at FlickrCC - just one of the best cool tools I know of. Very useful….

I link to the source and in doing so acknowledge the brilliance of the creator. I’m also showing I suppose some reverence for the time and space in which the object has transcended a limited range of visual brilliance, appreciation and allowing it to inform another way to lighten the lives of others.

That’s really what I’m after when I rant about access and useability for learners within or outside of the organisational or institutional firewall of protectionism. Concentrating on the guilt and bad feelings that come from being blocked access to new and emergent ways of working using networked communication technologies only seems to heighten my anxiety further. It’s debilitating and I’m actually beyond feeling this way so why do i contiue to engage in the debate ?

What not just give up and find ways to avoid confronting this challenge ?

I acknowledge that I feel angry and dismayed that no one in management is “getting it” but then upon reflection and consideration I realise that in fact they ( management ) in fact are getting it loud and clear …….and that carefully orchestrated planning and history have contributed to that decision making process. I also acknowledge that my expressions of dismay and helplessness are not helping to inform progressive thinking ……..rather drawing upon the vitriolic and senseless mindlessness that erupts from repeat unrequieted ( is that how you spell that word ?) access to that which makes it all easier.

Readers and my colleagues know that I often lapse into fits of sardonisim….. and feeling trapped in situations also leads me to kick-out at the constraint.

Nor am I one to sit in amongst the constraint and accept that this is the way it is and just accept it like a drone. What I’m doing is expressing how I’m FEELING…….I’m feeling trapped ( it’s a feeling and not a pretty one ) HOWEVER, in expressing it I’m seeking ways to move on and experience success, supported and encouraged, connected and really achieving creation. It’s perhaps the base human expression as Jo kay suggests that makes it possible to then contemplate the way to empower oneself which in turn empowers others by example.

The problem ( I’m now thinking…..ticking away here) is less in the fact that there is a reluctance in the education sectors to readily embrace new technologies and use them as part of the education experience, but more of a sociological value as to the affect such technologies have on the other aspects of being human and alive. Take for instance online learning for part-time educators in time poor cities with chronic shortages of beauty and health. Or, consider resource rich lock-step employees trapped in isolated communities where access and useability are seventh to the local football field. Which looks more like war and why ?

Where does openess help rather than induce introspection and anxiety of self value ? maybe pushing for an open view of what’s happening inside only add’s to the anxiety ? When does a wiki not become a wiki ? Just because it’s closed and dosent exist for public view ?

Technology I propose itself is not necessarily the challenge rather the myrid of challenges it poses for base human communication as we struggle to engage in meaningful and human-rich deep and slow experiences without interuptions. Maybe the ’social’ in social networking technology is in fact an enigma and that in fact we’d be better off analysing and informing the debates from a values assessment of technology mediated interaction without it’s “noise”.

That would then render this expression of mine …mute. Best I concentrate on what it enables rather than what it refutes. Find some connectedness amongst the humdrum and show connection in action in a world immersed in security conciousness.

Whilst I’m on the topic, policy ( broad sweep of hand ) seems to me to be a resultant rather than a guide in all of these discussions and helpless expressions. Process oriented action research that informs action ie. Graham Wegner seems more useful than philisophical nuances that inform policy which then governs the manner in which we re-value interaction and devolve responsibility from.

I commiserate with Kim Flintoff and find that he’s willing to openly ( humanely) express himself and suggest perhaps that he’s also not trapped by cynicsm rather seeking connectedness to remain sane and positive.

After much mirth last night Stephan Ridgway, Robyn Jay and Julie Collareda finally broke into fits of laughter at the novelty of re-positing the ridiculousness of where rhetoric is taking our organisations as a whole as they struggle to comprehend the whole change occuring from right underneath them. Not only are humans becoming more complex but the rapidity of the connections means nothing remains un-observed.

Our resolve - It’s our ability to harness survaillant as core capital rather than bork at it’s borgness.

Open up rooms in ourspace.

Turn the machine off occasionally.

Smile more readily.

Seems worthwhile to me. What do you think ?