ALEXANDER HAYES

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Angel of Darkness

Alexander Hayes

Angel of Darkness: Artist unknown.

Everyone has the right to believe in what they want. No one has the right to tell others what to believe … especially those whose business is to endorse and protect pedophiles whilst claiming they are on their knees to save us from eternal hell and damnation.

As Sartre was often heard to say, “… hell is other people, not a place conveniently located post living as a human on this earth” …and in my case, this hell was every supposedly Christian institution I was ever sent to.

If you have ever wondered where the term ecclesiastical term ‘mass’ came from, well from there you have it. A group of a few too many who believe in the same (often inculcation) and then harm others with it. The same for repentance and yet again for forgiveness. Without either, then all you have is outright carnage and slaughter and neither term originated from any Christian boot camp, rather I claim it’s been a moral pagan accord since the beginnings of time.

Catholicism brought us the black box in which we can speak to an unseen who forgives us and encourages us to go back to the village for more. Prayer is the common symbol for the openly oppressed and to congregate is good business especially when it fits the frame of capitalism and looks good. Fine upstanding citizens who practice all the virtues and then break every single one of them as hypocrites and common charlatans.

For me, I’ll accept at most the tag of ‘fallen angel’ even though that is a far stretch from the will of an angry young child repeatedly defiled as a ‘seer’ and chosen ‘lamb of god’.

Go fuck yourselves instead of the children I say to the many who see the vulnerable, innocent, and meek as fair game to play. No amount of burning in your own man-made hell will save you from the harsh light of solitary in protective custody.

In the last few months, I have received a range of vile responses to my efforts to see justice served for the many men who have suffered as a result of their contact with William Richmond Sandwell, a convicted felon, convict, pedophile.

There have been genuine expressions of sadness, care, and empathy balanced of course with a mix of ‘I love you’ (conditional and one way) as well as “…too short a sentence for the monster” and even callous remarks like “…well now you can close that chapter and get on with your life”.

In a series of written emails, I’ve also been informed that I’m now officially an ‘Apostate’ by proxy, by abandoning a religious or political belief or principle in order to achieve the exposure of a pedophile manifest.

Still, others have gone as far as to renounce my efforts as a ‘fallen angel’ which in Abrahamic religions, fallen angels are angels who were expelled from heaven. So, let me explain it this way for those of you who feel that your spiritual and religious beliefs matter in an Australian Court of Law.

Firstly, I did not swear on nor at a Bible in order to provide three decades worth of facts to a Royal Commission into the Sexual Abuse of Children, Institutional Responses, also to Sutherland Police Detectives and for weeks in a trial which has seen 9 survivors step forward and hundreds of witnesses interviewed. Belief in humanity and in Law which transcends any current bullshit of supposed reverence means no amount of postulations of pious holiness changes facts to fear-driven fiction.

To be a Fallen Angel means you first need to believe in a “heaven” and more importantly in a “hell”. Without these conveniently off Mother Earth myths the Christian Judaic fear-driven business model fails to hold over its captive gullible congregation. 

Secondly, no amount of prayers to a dude who was immaculately conceived, died, somehow ended up in control of a trillion-headed snake that ate an apple….you get the picture.

Belief has nothing to do with pedophiles and yet that’s precisely what they “prey” upon in all manners of worldly charm. Repenting, praying, and turning to anything is not what pedophiles do - they simply protect each other with the very same silences the church as a capitalist pig perpetuating its crimes through time immemorial.

Sadly, for those who should be opening their archives, their books, and their mouths all that they would become in the harsh cold hard light of the Law is mute, complicit to their ‘blind eye’ to abuse… happening right in front of them!

To admit you failed to report these crimes against humanity is to render all that you know, all that you are, and all that you will become as nothing but mere, mortal, and an irrelevant nothing in the annals of time.

Saying nothing and doing nothing means you are no different from those before you who lived in hope. The fact is ACTION is all that makes change occur. To act on what is EVIL means fighting it with tough love, not forgiveness and apologies.

In my case, for the Synod who organized the apologies to be read via a criminal Bishop at the Royal Commission … go stick your apologies up your own apologist ass.

Repeatedly we are reminded and made aware that Australia is run by conservative freaks whose houses of their lords are rampant havens for pedophilia, extortion, and the false prophet. These supposedly religious institutions need to be dismantled, illegal, and continuing to run the same ‘fear over ‘ business model as any Australian government … which largely serves their billionaire selves.

For those who wish to pray for my sins, get off your fucking knees and do something for those who have suffered as a result of your bullshit brigades.

For those of you who think rebranding your remote church camps away from civilization as ‘safe ministry’ cleanliness, be aware that any institutional ‘Professional Standards Unit ’ is under close, close scrutiny….never believed, always circumspect.

For those of you who thought you got away with your crimes from your safe havens of heavenly good fortune, the big house awaits, filled with fallen angels, apostates, and every other known fear term you can humanely imagine to cut you to the core. No prayers, no claims of redemption, no-frills nor frocks will ever protect those who see fit to claim ‘God’ while making others’ lives hell on earth.

Oh and just in case you thought this was. rant and that good Christians can do no wrong…

This was written on this website and then promptly removed and the Internet Archive copy was scrubbed also.

“…To my knowledge, the convicted abuser, Adrian Sandwell, was banned from any children’s or youth ministry in 2002. Prior to this, he was involved in the leadership of the Sutherland CEBS, and a high-ranking leader in the CEBS movement in NSW. Years ago Sandwell was for a short time a member of our church and spoke at a few of our family services.” - http://gymeaanglican.org.au/2019/07/05/rethinking-big-issues-church-leader-jailed/

(note: they pulled down the post of course - assholes).

The fact is Sandwell frequented many churches and CEBS meeting grounds all over this Australian nation. Sandwell is recorded in hansards of meetings all over this country over a thirty-year period and much of this is openly accessible through the Internet.

It’s time the archives of the institutions that protected these crimes against humanity were laid open.

UPDATE: It seems my request to append my story at the Livingwell group with notice of Sandwell’s conviction HAS been approved - https://www.livingwell.org.au/from-men/stories-of-mens-experience/alexs-real-story/